FOUNDATIONS IN ACTION
Yoga Program-
with Baron Baptiste
Thoughts from Day 1 of the program:
Welcome back to the wonderful world of Baron Baptiste and the prod that somehow makes me feel better. Maybe better is the wrong word, but being prodded, challenged and given a swift kick in the butt makes me step up and feel more in control.
At cause.
Here.
Now.
Me.
I was the first person to speak up tonight and be handed a microphone. I would have never done this when I started this journey five years ago with the Baptiste community. I was way too concerned with looking like I had it all together. I was way too concerned with looking good. I would not risk looking foolish. I would not risk looking unprepared or without the “right” answers.
On the flip side, I would also not risk looking like that girl – you know, the one who raises her hand, participates, and pisses everyone else off with her confident swagger & total immersion in being involved in the moment at hand. But – really, when the big push comes to the hard shove – I am that girl. I love being that girl.
Embracing BE-ING that girl has brought a lot of good stuff.
When I do not embrace it, trouble inevitably ensues & I am left feeling out of whack.
The question posed by Baron tonight: “Why are you here?”
I raised my hand, stood up, microphone in hand and said to the group of 200+: "I am here to plug in, to recharge . . . I have been coasting.”
Baron asked: “In your practice? In your teaching? In your relationships? Where?”
I answered truthfully: “Pretty much across the board.”
The group collectively chuckled.
Then Baron asked if this spoke to anyone else and more than half the room raised their hands.
“You are either a shining example or a warning.” –Baron Baptiste.
Tonight after speaking I had several people comment on my shared comment in a "YES! Me too!" kinda way or to simply say thanks in one way or another. I also had a woman tell me I was brave – which seemed a bit over the top and made me slightly uncomfortable, because I do not equate this sharing to bravery at all. But I am not her and I guess your view depends on your vantage point. I told her that if I want to get the most out of my time here – I have to participate (and what better time than right away?)
I found that lesson out in the Level I Teacher Training I did in 2007. I was hesitant and held back those first few days. I don’t think I ever fully participated as I could have, but I learned this about myself and I felt like after getting SO MUCH from the middle-of-the-road participation I did do, that I cheated myself out of more. I hate regrets.
Today was the first toe in the water of this program. Practice was good & intense, but not the crazy killer **BARONHASLOSTHISMIND** kinda of practice that sometimes kicks off his programs.
I feel like that’s going to happen tomorrow morning.
Of course this is me having expectations – which I really need to stop doing, (but that’s a whole other entry).
Tonight during practice I tuned out more times than I would like to admit, even though the focus of the practice was observation. How can I observe when I am reliving a memory? What can I observe when stuck so far down a trail of thoughts I do not remember the origin? Or if I am just plain zoned out? Where do I go?
Better yet – when I realize my misstep I spend a good amount of time internally berating myself for falling off the wagon. Stellar moves, all around.
Baron said tonight:
“You know what all of your problems are?
You talk to yourself..."
The punch-line:
"...AND YOU LISTEN.“
The second punch-line:
“Then it just gets weird from there.”
Touché Mr. Baptiste. Touché.
